Welcome to Home Shalom!

Welcome to Home Shalom and Shalom Farm. We pray your visit here be blessed. We are learning to walk in the Ways (Torah) of our Father YHWH and follow Y'shua, His Messiah until He returns to "set things straight". We call it a "Messi-Life". Our walk is neither tidy nor perfect, but it is filled with passion, devotion and desire to serve our King. We are learning to be humble servants, and to be good stewards of the things that He has entrusted to us: His Word, our marriage, our children, our family, our community, our health, and our farm. Hitch your horse and stay a while--our door is always open!

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Why I Cover... (in transparency)

As I always say, we must stand account for the things we do, good, bad or indifferent, to both our God and man. Abba can read my heart, but man can not - so I am going to attempt to explain this from the inside out:

I could quote some wonderful Scripture to try to defend what I do, because I searched it out during my struggle of conviction, but I decided not to, rather - I am going to try to explain the heart of the matter. To explain why something that will likely appear legalistic to those who don't understand it - in fact is quit spiritual and intimate. Again, it all happened from the inside out.

The conviction came this year, in the Spring as I was counting the Omer and seeking after His (YHWH) will for me. My identity is changing, my passion for Him growing stronger, my willingness to obey Him and serve Him - no matter the cost - escalates. As I dig into His Word and learn more about who HE is and how He should have me live, He transforms me. As I learn about the Appointed Times (Sabbath and His Seven Feasts) that I never saw before and the blessings of keeping His Appointed Times holy like He said too; He transforms me. The more I obey, the more He reveals Himself and His plan to me. The more I learn the more I am humbled, yet emboldened in faith and declaration. He is preparing me to be His Bride. He is teaching me how to become one with His Word, His Spirit and His will. In all this, I desire only to identify in Him, only to serve Him, to be covered in His righteousness, and to shed my pride. To trade my agenda in for service to Him as His Spirit, Bible and Messiah have shown me (and continue to). I want to BE a vessel for Him. When I say the words "I am"_____, i want those words to testify to HIM. I want HIM speaking through me as a "rule". In other words, not to speak unless I am spoken through by HIM. What does all this have to do with covering??? Nothing and everything at the same time. He spoke into my spirit, that it (covering, among other things)is what He wants ME to do. WHY? I can't effectively explain, and I'm learning that is OK. We can't always explain God and His ways, but we can always try to trust and obey. Since I have responded to this conviction through obedience, I have been at peace. I came "into this" kicking and screaming in my mind. I went "round and round with my dear friends" (I pray you are so blessed to have friends you can "go round" with! I am truly blessed.) I knew what Abba was telling me, but I had no explanation for it! How does someone who always says "you must stand account for your choices", not know how to explain such a choice??? Especially something so "demonstrative". Then it hit me....that is right where HE wants me, speechless, and dependant on Him. This is between Him and I. Yes, one day I will be able to speak in wisdom about this time, but now - I am like a babe, I am to simply trust and obey! He wants me to be reminded that He has placed this marriage vail on me for all to see and it is time for me "step up". He has called me to be His Ambassador and He has just put HIS uniform on me. I am especially sensitive to my "witness" as I walk in my new identity and developing my understanding of my responsibilities as His bride. Covering is something I was very uncomfortable with, because the only covering I was familiar with was that of suppression, that of "man". I was happy to serve Him on my own terms, but those offerings are as filthy rags when done of my own accord. His ways are so much higher than our ways. He has called me out, and He wants others to know it. He has called me out of myself - first; out of my previous " Non-denominational Replacement Theology Christian Identity" and out of the average American Culture. He has set me apart. I do not do this because I am amidst a crowd of people who do, as a matter of fact, I am a single daisy in a field of clover. To top it all off, I live around many Amish and Mennonites and had judgmental opinions about their choices to cover. (Please, forgive me.) Making occasional snide comments in pity for them, because I didn't "have to do such things". Since than, I've had conversations with YHWH in prayer that sound something like this, "Abba, WHAT are you doing to me????"

I have always said, "God has a sense of humor"!

In the last several years Abba has also been humbling me to see His great provision for us through the structure of creation and the headship of my husband in the family. He has helped me to see what a beautiful thing that is, not to the detriment of of my own worth, but actually to the accentuation of it! He helped me see how I was a real obstacle to that coming into fruition in our family through my selfish ways. My covering also reminds me of the Divine headship within the beautiful structure of marriage and family, as a rehearsal for me as His bride.

( I'm a die-hard romantic... I know! How can I not be? I am being wooed by the King of the Universe! It can't help but make a girl swoon!!!)

The Scripture also speaks of praying with one's head covered. I always want to be in a posture of prayer, to pray without ceasing as I walk with Ruach (Spirit). Can one pray without her head covered and be heard? Yes! I did for years before now and was heard and answered! However, covering my head now, is a simple response to honoring His Word and His culture as I learn more about it; a demonstration "in the physical" of what He is doing in me in "the spiritual"; another simple act of worship as I walk with Him. One that developed from the inside out.

I wear the Israeli Tiechel and have never felt more "myself" ever in my life. It is a declaration to becoming joined with Commonwealth of Spiritual Israel (in God's family) and as I realize with a thankful heart that I am His little wild olive branch. There is great reward in walking in the Spirit (Ruach Ha Kodesh).

Do I think everyone should cover? NO. Why? Because the tiechel in itself is simply a scarf, it is void of meaning and power it itself (like us). It is trusting YHWH and resting in the provision of Yeshua that gives us meaning and power. The fruits come only after we honestly do that (and I'm NOT talking about "trying Jesus", I'm talking about Him becoming the center of our universe!!) For you, or others - that might have nothing to do with a "tiechel", that is not for me to say. We mustn't try to manufacture His peace and favor by what we do (no matter what it "looks like"), rather it is what HE DOES IN US that produces fruits that testify to His glory. In short, "If you aren't called to it, don't do it."

I have not written this becasue I think others should be convinced of my ways (thereby validating myself before man). We mustn't always try to "convict others" with the things He has put on our hearts...that is the job of the Holy Spirit - we simply do not qualify for the position! Rather, we need to be true to what He is showing us and learn to walk in humbleness and love trusting that He has got it all under control. We should work to accept people right where they are, as we do He will use us to effect them when He speaks through us, as we walk in the ways of Yeshua. The kind of "acceptance" I am talking about is understanding that not everyone is in the same place at the same time, nor should we remian in the same place we were - if we are, then I submit to you that it is an artificial testimoney because when we "get comfortable" and think we've got God all figured out...that is a very dangerous place to be. AS we REALLY recognize that and walk in that revelation, it should help us to remain humble and teachable. That will always be true, regardless of our season or stage of growth IN Him. I know "where I am spiritually" is very differnt than where I was 2 years ago, and I pray it will be that much more different two years from now - as I walk with Him and am transformed BY HIM. If that is not the case, I need to seriously examine myself before the throne; Haveing become stagnant and unteachable.

On the other hand, if you are struggling with conviction in your spirit like I did about covering your head and your body, there will be no peace until you submit to His will for you. If this conviction is coming from the inside (not the outside), like any other topic, it will do you best to "lay it at His feet" and let Him do what He does...transform us in His own likeness.

Sometimes if feels like I am alone, misunderstood, and even persecuted...but then Abba reveals to me, in fact I am not alone...that HE is doing the same things in the hearts of others all over His creation. It is simply my job to keep trusting and obeying. I sense He is preparing me for some kind of service and this is simply one of the many steps in that process of my training. My tiechel certainly isn't "the point"!! Our Creator is far bigger than that! I trust that He will reveal more to me as I rest in Him and ever seek to serve Him.

That is why I cover....from the heart - in transparency.


betty said...

Thank you Pam for your post "Why I cover...[in transparency]". It is so clear that YHWH IS working in your life to set you apart for His pleasure. I am just awed at the things that is changing and what lies ahead of you in God's plan for your life. You are visibably carrying the banner of a life desiring to follow closely to the faith and plan you are given.
You are beautiful! Thank you for blessing me with your testimony.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for your post, Pam. It gives me a lot to ponder. Because of my background, I struggle with seeing covering and covering one's head as legalistic. (I'll have to share my story with you sometime.) Through sharing your story, you have shown me that it doesn't have to be a legalistic thing but can be worn in an act of love and devotion. Thanks so much for sharing that. :-)

Valerie said...

I followed a thread that led to a thread that led to your blog that led to "you might also like" and on and on to land up on this post. That I could have written myself because it so closely mirrors the journey (and feeling of preparation) that I am on, a few years behind you.
Truly, the Ruach guides us if we let Him.
Thank you for having posted this and allowing yourself to be used by Him.
Ever have days where you wonder "Is He really doing ALL THIS in my life or do I just have a really good imagination today?" Yeah - that's where I'm at in this particular moment. And your post helps me to see it really is Him...I'm not this creative! :-)
Shalom and love in Him,

Julie said...

Pam, this is so beautiful. I think you articulated it perfectly. I can hear your heart (and almost *see* you beaming) as I read this.

Your words do exactly what they should...encourage the reader to press in to our Father's heart. Thank you.