But.... He's Not Getting It (revised)

Have you ever found yourself wishing your husband was a stronger spiritual leader in your home? Have you noticed that you seem to be more "in tuned" to the Holy Spirit than He is?
Maybe he doesn't do practical things around the house, without being begged to or seems to put more energy into things outside the home. Do you find yourself doing things for him, and thinking (or saying) "if I don't do it, it won't get done"! Have you found yourself looking at him and wishing you could change that "one thing"about him? OK, or maybe those 5 things? Or have you ever thought "If only I had known it would be like this...".

This topic is a very intensive and in depth one, beyond the scope of my ability to effectively communicate on this blog. However it is so important,and dear to my heart, so I feel I must touch on it.

If you have, you are not alone, but if you continue in that way - you may find one day...you are alone. As Godly women, we are usually the more relational half of the marriage, I believe YHVH has given us this gift to care after and gently influence our husbands by example. It is part of YHVH' s design for the marriage. What comes more naturally to us, does not to them (and vice-verso). And for those of us that who are "handicapped" in relationships and mercy ourselves...well... Yah brings us along, so that our light may eventually shine on them and foster change in the "silent ways of love".

I realize some woman have great leading husbands who put Yah first and family second ....but their are a lot more who don't. (But they CAN be!) YHVH has shown me that my attitude and actions toward my husband and in my home can essentially turn the entire direction of our home atmosphere, even when it seems like it is my husband who seems to be "missing it"(in other words WRONG). In fact that has been our experience and I praise Yah for showing me how to be and encourager and helper to my husband, instead of taking the lead myself. I am so thankful that HE showed me that I was actually hindering my husband's growth by my attitude and actions. I am so thankful that Yah has shown me, the value and worth of a supporting role and that as my husband's partner> I know my voice and input is VERY important to him, but that He instinctively shuts it off when I override his built in need for respect and leadership. My husband never knew how to exercise that for lack of an example of Godly leadership in His life to follow. Yah showed me ultimately how to TRUST HIM to transform my husband as well as myself. Yah taught me that even though it may take some mistakes along they way...that HE had it all under control and I was to focusing on my husband's need to change and to focus on how Yah was teaching ME to change. As a result the change in me got my husband's attention and gave Him the freedom to be transformed himself..without the "armed guard" (me) ready to shine a spot line on what He had done wrong.

I am not proud to say, that I have thought and even said, every one of the statements above. I also understand- all too well- how most of the time, when I did these things, it was in direct response to something my husband did wrong and they were "EARNED"! (In other words I wasn't being a pain simply to be a pain, I was reacting to things my husband did. In the world my actions were warranted, but I wanted more for my marriage than what the world to offer!!) I have learned that if there would ever be change in my home, it would not come if I were complaining, magnifying my husband's faults, "reminding", manipulating or even ignoring them. These would be worldly ways of reacting to the "oh so common" conflicts that happen in marriage.

As Godly women, we are to be a gifts to our husbands (and they to us). Our homes are to be Holy (set apart) places where the Kingdom Ways are manifested and cultivated. Our homes should look nothing like the world. They are suppose to be places of love and encouragement, laughter, and embraces, work, blood, sweat and tears, hospitality, service and kindness. Places where YHVH is exalted and revered. A place where relationships bloom and grow and flourish. If this is not an accurate description of your home, do not be discouraged; instead know that it is what YHVH has waiting for us, if we follow His ways. It doesn't matter where you have come from or how deep you may be "in it", our YHVH is bigger and has transformed homes much more crippled than yours or mine. He is in the "restoration business", restoring His people to wholeness so that they may walk upright with Him. If he can do it with these two dilapidated sacks of dirt (my husband and myself ) He can do it for you and yours! Time is short beloved, NOW is the time to change tomorrow. NOW is a the time to declare a new beginning. When we stumble (and we do) HE picks us up, dusts us off and points the way when we keep our eyes on HIM first and foremost. Our job is to "keep on - keepin' on" in His ways... they are DIVINE!

We can't change our husbands - that's Yah's job, and He is quite capable. WE must stop playing God. However, WE can change, and as a result - our husbands also change..It is Yah's way...it's all part of HIS Sovereign Design....it is perfect.